It’s been a really tough couple of years and things changed so much in collective life and in mine specifically. I cannot say I’m as optimistic as I was before but I am still looking for good and potential in most people/things/situations and I’m kinda proud of this trait.
I can’t say am truly anticipating the continuous shifting we are all going to forgo because I am a nostalgic person, but I can say I am pretty much prepared to keep doing the work. And I am planning to keep surviving. And I have some very roughly groomed yet healthy seeds of hope that all those survival politics will leave some space for dreaming and creating and forgiving and letting go because I want to imagine myself living better than this, more comfortably, more fully.
#8 Karl Scaefer & John HyamsBlack Summer(2019 – 2021)
Not a film but a very much underrated series which is also kinda cancelled (?). Set in the universe of Z Nation which I am not sure I enjoyed really but maybe I have to revisit. Great cinematography, very bold choice with the dialogue (or the lack of it tbh) and the sound in general, the concept of adapting in a recently post-apocalyptic environment at its best. I haven’t admired such a complete devotion to “sensory” and emotional feelmaking in this genre for a pretty while now. It turned my zombie flame on again, hallelujah.
On Sept. 21, 2022 we got the clearest photo of Neptune’s rings from James Webb Space Telescope. On Sept. 21, 2022 I didn’t join the people in protest for the 4th anniversary of Zak’s murder.
The city is being chewed and swallowed quicker than ever. Public space is eradicated almost completely downtown and the construction companies have managed the unmanageable, to work breaking the cement on roads and pavements continuously, not only every single day of the week but also nights. Tall sheets of metal are guarding our parks, the little trees that were sickly standing are now violently outrooted and destroyed in vain and we can’t breathe, we are asphyxiating, we open our mouths only to burst in screaming at each other’s face every once in a while. We are leaving in shared apartments with limited spaces for our needs, let alone our creativity, and we say to ourselves to be patient and to endure and to resile, as if it is our own choice when it is clearly not. We don’t have a choice, we only have a tiny little hope that this can’t be it and it must change, we must change. So we try to dream how to change and we make plans to change from within first and then to change our closest environment, we plan to buy a closet for our clothes that are still in carton boxes since last March, we dream to buy a cheap bookcase or at least some wall shelves for our books that we regret of buying all these years and wished we were suddenly illiterate so we could throw them away but then regret that regret and touch them with love and some care but then we notice all the dust from their quiet paper bodies on our fingertips and here is that regret again. We feel trapped and then we must convince ourselves that we are free-er than others who are in lesser positions and our privilege smothers us but our throat resists and try to open like a needy black hole against the whole universe and it’s clogged from all the garbage that fell inside, but it is still alive and still trying. And we get up to crack a window in pain cause that lower back of ours is untreated for more than a year now in absence of money and a proper will to live, and it’s very difficult to move, almost impossible some days. And we remember we must find some courage to start exercising again because self care is important and exercise is the only way to stop that pain but is there any hope for the pain in our heart though? And how do you find courage when the air is thin and all your life passes in front of your eyes, wide open from terror, every single day before sleep and let alone all those vivid dreams and nightmares we are always having. What is life if it’s not terror, if this is true we are living our greatest lives and even knowing it, isn’t enough. Nothing is enough cause we don’t have access to fulfillment, only to saturation and that is an enormous problem of our systems, they make us hungrier and hungrier and hungrier and there is no bottom to this fire red pit of constant wanting, and this goes forever even if the thing we want more than anything in the world is some space for our sore bodies and some air for our poor lungs to breathe, and forgive me my audacity but someone would say that this is not us asking for the sun and moon.
It’s been a long time since I caught this blog up with personal matters and it’s partly because life runs like water in an enormous waterfall and I don’t have either the time nor the mental capacity to process everything like I use to. But, this is a testimonial and a reminder to myself that I desperately need to get ahead of my game again. Because this year is different. It is the year I am going to shoot that damn movie finally. I mean, there is a production meeting waiting for me at the end of this month in which I don’t even dare to imagine how many problems me and the producers are going to tangle, but I am preparing myself to make them give me a shooting date, at least; and one I like too.
So if everything goes as planned, I will have to be ready to shoot on spring, March or April, right before Orthodox Easter which will be ideal cause I will have this veeery good looking nature birthing more nature that I like. And I know for a fact that spring, early spring, makes people hopeful and a tiny bit happy and productive and I really want this experience to be the best for everyone. The truth is that I sacrificed a tone of stuff during last years in order to find myself in a position to make this film. Like, poverty, stability, mental health, physical health, all of them aspects of life that makes someone functioning without trying. But I regret nothing. That’s the reason I really want to be able to enjoy this fucking year, cause it’s gonna be long and hard and exhausting and possibly devastatingly emotional but it’s all worth it, mates, you know why? It’s because I will be directing something I wrote with people I love and respect and even with some I loved once and then lost my respect for but still want them involved. That’s life after all and this film is all about life and hope and life.
In terms of economic survival, I’m taking a scriptwriting job that my smart beautiful and very capable gomenaki found me and it’s nice and easy, not too easy but definitely doable and enjoyable so I am grateful for that because it means I would be able to focus on the film since before Christmas even.
Now, I have a million things to do and a million things to think but Alkis said it’s okay to sit on those because films are actually made one, max two, months before shooting. And they’re correct. I did the utmost of the “always be prepared” shit, now I need to rest in this preparation soup and be creative and a leader I guess. Easy, no? Yep.
Anyway, sorry for being babbly and all over the place, I am a bit sick at the moment with something that is not Rona and has a brain fog effect on me so I am really trying to make sense even to myself right now. It’s cool tho. I am feeling kinda rested and chill, my back does not hurt a couple of days now and feels great. Although my usual anxiety is not completely absent. Just milder, I think.
I am going to start therapy in October. I had a rough few months during the summer because I stopped early. I was also kind of mad with my therapist, I don’t really know why, I guess I was under much pressure and I was confused. I need to pay her also and that never helps. I was saying I maybe want to stop going completely but then I got smarter and stopped being an idiot.
I read a lot. I watched a lot. I even got myself to a mountain and played in springs water (icy cold!). T’was nice.
Starting getting dizzy so I have to get off screen. Wish me luck and check on me often even if I am the stupid friend with the super late responses, please don’t give up on me bitches.
#7 Matt Betinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillett’s Scream (2022)
You can never be wrong going back to the original and gen Z should thank every single person who worked on this movie cause it is a meta fan fueled masterpiece that takes itself just seriously enough to prove that oldschool slashers are of great cinematic value and 90s may be the best decade of pop culture – god bless.
Athens and Epidaurus Festival program for 2022 was publiced yesterday and seeing my name among the program maybe birth a couple of serotonine molecules in my brain.
This is a play writen and directed by Youla Boudali, a precious theatre person in Greece that homeland hasn’t appreciated enough but I think this is going to change soon. At least I hope. I was asked to do dramaturgy for this play and assist the director to compose the dramatic atmosphere altogether, using only my tendency to experiment and my weird fixation on learning new things and link them with the ones I already know. We do have a great ensemble for cast, four young actresses who are giving their selves and learning and experimenting and becoming as we are, and five older and more experienced actors who bring the balance and the grounding to that youth raw acting force that takes everything personally and does not have limits; or boundaries for what matters.
The story is about four highschool students who want to study math, physics and chemistry back in the ’60s, in Misholongi, a kinda small but very historic greek town with a great significance for the national narrative around the Greek Revolution of 1821. The city was loved and inspired many western personalities of the era who sang her beauties and the people’s struggle, romanticizing and colonizing the earth and the humans since day one. Those acts of love to the place helped the country to form this pseudo-historic cultural messy obsession modern greece has with heroism, innocence and being the one who’s wronged.
The description on the festival’s program: Is there a distinctly male and a distinctly female “destiny”? Are there innate proclivities and talents? Are hard science, mechanical engineering, architecture, or pharmaceutics appropriate for a girl? Spring of 1960, Missolonghi. A group of girls’ school students marches on the city streets, protesting the founding of a Vocational Boys’ Gymnasium that will exclude girls from science courses. A story of women who were born immediately after WWII in an insular, provincial town and envisioned equality with men. Girls whose agency was unusual at the time, and is still unusual today, as gender roles continue to define the dominant national narrative, superficial shifts notwithstanding. An original performance based on actual (and actually Greek) events.
Written and directed by Youla Boudali Dramaturgy Vasiliki Lazaridou Set design Konstantinos Kotsis Lighting design Tasos Palaioroutas Costume design Marli Aleiferi Music John Tsallas, Kostas Zampos Make-up artist Evi Zafiropoulou Assistant to the director Maria Gkioni Cast Marianna Bozantzoglou, Vangelio Andreadaki, Eli Driva, Vassilis Karampoulas, Erietta Kelly, Christina Kypraiou, Fotini Papachristopoulou, Zoe Sigalou
Executive production LeFou Productions / Vasia Attarian, Serafeim Radis
Here is a couple of promo photographs taken by the brilliant Myrto Tzima for the program presentation.
02/07 until 04/07/2022 at 21:00 at Peiraios 260 (E)
Allegedly, I watched hardly 12 minutes of the film and then I changed it to the news. I still cannot watch anything Sorrentino. I remember myself abandoning the cinema room having paid a full ticket during Youth after about 30 minutes and that was the longest I have ever watched anything he’s ever done.
I am not even mad at those who didn’t like it, I am just sorry for their bad taste. A severely meta masterpiece with pleasing easter eggs and unapologetic attitude. The only thing missing was Lilly but a girl needs her boundaries, I get and support this 100%.